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The Deepest Connection

One of the 6 human needs is defined as Love/Connection and it’s very easy to see and understand why this is the case. The foundation of society is built upon relationships and how we connect to each other and our need to receive and give love. However, I also believe that the deepest connection we will experience is not with others or even the one we love the most. That connection is with our self.


It’s ironic that we often attain the most wisdom after the fact. In my lifetime I have experienced and observed that when people form relationships, the focus is always from an external perspective in how the other person affects our attitude and behavior. Seldom is the focus on why am I experiencing this emotion because of someone else’s behavior or lack of. This understanding only comes when we have strong and healthy relationship with our self.


Think about when people form romantic relationships the standard operating procedure is to convert or “fix” the other person. How can people have successful relationships when they don’t have a healthy relationship with self? Most of the issues that people have today with relationships and even interacting with society is a lack of self awareness!

Unfortunately, the current model of education does not offer studies on introspection and the inward journey. Those are skills learned and developed after the fact and usually when an individual adopts a lifestyle of personal growth. When you have an understanding of your core values, what has to happen for your to feel a certain way, why you react the way you do…etc, a whole world of understanding opens to you and your relationships with others will be the best it’s ever been. A healthy relationship with self will free you from the insecurity of external dependencies of others. When you can be your own best friend and your own biggest fan you won’t have to rely on others to fill that gap for you.

There has to be time set aside in a person’s life for introspection and evaluation. Just be still. There is a lot that can be said about being still. There is a spiritual reference that says, Be still and know that I am God.” You will gain a higher level of awareness of everything from stillness practice. Just be still! From a personal standpoint, one of the reasons I also enjoy working out is that it connects me to myself. It’s like my meditation and therapy. I have to say that one of the deepest connections with self that I have experienced just started happening, cold exposure!


I have to give credit to The Wim Hof Method. I have found that cold exposure and breath work connect me to the universe within in a profound way. When you are submersed in ice and leverage the techniques of the Wim Hof Method, you will establish a depth of connection with yourself that eliminates all distractions. At that moment it’s just you, your breath, your focus and it’s like time almost stops. At least that’s how it is for me. Plus, you get a whole lot of health benefits from it. Breath work and cold showers are a daily part of my life ritual as much as waking up.



There are many ways to have a deep relationship with yourself. For me it’s stillness practice, breathwork, Wim Hof Method and working out. Find your way and if you’re having challenges, schedule some time to consult with me. I’d love to help.

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